Moulin Rouge - The Fellowship of the Microphones
by Twissie
Summary: Moulin Rouge-LOTR-Star Wars crossover.... A scizophrenic elf, a llama, music, dancing.. what more do you need?


Disclaimer: We don't own this story, any of the characters or whatever else crap we put in it... (Hey it's just some non-profit fun okey??) This just simply came out of our minds one Thursday night... (okey we are lonely and crazy...what can you do?)  
  
Cue David Bowie's Nature Boy from the Movie Moulin Rouge.. Twissie and Falcon enter the screen with big smiles and green microphones. (Why green?)  
  
Twissie: There was an elephant.  
  
Falcon: A very strange and big elephant  
  
Twissie: Then Gandalf came and burned it down  
  
Falcon: To the ground  
  
Twissie: Only ashes left...... Hmm.... What rhymes with left?  
  
Falcon: Oh... I don't know... left, keft, teft... Isn't this song finished anyway?  
  
tWISSIE: no!  
  
Falcon: Hey.. Easy on the caps lock..  
  
Twissie: Oh.. SoRrY. But.. NO! The song isn't finished yet... You HAVE seen this film two times, and have the cd from the film like me right??? You should know better!  
  
Falcon: Oh crap..... Not the moulin rouge talk again----- here we go guys... brace yourself..  
  
Twissie: Hei! Hva i svarte er det du mener med det??? Hæ???  
  
Falcon: Eh.. Twissie? You're speaking in Norwegian.... The people at ff.net don't understand Norwegian... do you MIND?  
  
Twissie: Okey.. (Turns towards camera/readers... whatever) Sorry guys/girls/things/ewoks.... (faces Falcon) Okey... you win.. I can't find anything that rhymes with left.. The song is finished... want to continue the story now?  
  
Falcon: Who cares... No one will read it anyway...  
  
Twissie: HEY! This is going to be a masterpiece... everyone will be talking about it! So SHUT UP and watch me write... Okey? Or do you want to write it as well? Oh who cares.. I'll ask you for help when I get a brain freeze.... hmm.. That won't be long.. I can feel one coming on reeeeaaaaal soon... So anyways... sorry guys... On with the story... Now... See that didn't take long at all Falcon... We can start the story now! Oh CRAP this thing is still on! Make it stop.... Stop it... stop it... Oh COME ON!  
  
1 MOULIN ROUGE – Fellowship of the Green Microphone  
  
Christian and Satine are sitting in the ashes of the elephant looking up at the three strange "people" standing in front of them.  
  
Christian: Hey old man! Why did you do that to the elephant! It was Satine's home and the set for a highly romantic scene that should have had its place later on in this fic... But now Twissie and Falcon will never be able to write it because you burned it down! To the Ground! Only ashes left!  
  
Twissie: (leaning over Christian's shoulder whispering to him:) Hey... you don't know anything that rhymes with left do you?  
  
Christian: (whispers back:) No. And who cares? Weren't you guys trough with that?  
  
Twissie returns to her keyboard sobbing... Because she will never be able to continue her own little version of Nature Elephant.....  
  
Mysterious old man: But it was an evil Balrog! It's all the Balrog's fault... He did it!  
  
Christian and Satine looks at each other, shrugs and turns to the old man again.  
  
Little guy: Hullu... Dou yau have any fuod?  
  
Suddenly an apple appears from nowhere at all and hit the little guy in the head... Everybody laughs... except the little guy. He picks up the apple and immediately starts to eat it.  
  
A very blonde, kind of tall guy, with a weird look on his face standing behind the two other people suddenly jumps.... Moves closer to Christian and gets hysterical.  
  
Blonde guy: HEY!!!! EWAN! Wey.... Is it really you(an)? (did you get it, did you get it... huh huh?)  
  
Christian: Eh... Do I KNOW you? In any way? And..... Why do you look like a girl? You should go find Toulouse... He's into that... Not me.  
  
Blonde guy: (rips off his wig and starts jumping up and down in front of Christian (who nearly faints)) it's me!!! Orlando! As in Bloom.... Hello? Are you stupid or something? Black Hawk Down!? You DO remember that right?  
  
Christian: What are you talking about? Where did you get that hairdo and ... WHAT are you talking about?  
  
Blonde guy/Orlando Bloom: Hmm.... Okey... In denial... check... Hm.. most interesting... (Puts his wig back on and the extremely weird look on his face returns) Hey... I'm standing over here now! So close to this guy? Why, Why? Oh I made a rhyme.  
  
Everybody takes a BIG step away from the blonde guy.  
  
Blonde guy: Hey! To make it easier for the people writing this story... I'm going to tell you our names! My name is Legobloom.. No that's not right.. Orlangreenleaf... No wait... I got it I got it... hahaha! Elfboy! No... ehhh wait a second... That's just my part time name... Aha! (a fanfare can be heard somewhere, everybody jumps, except blonde guy, who look triumphant) My name is Gandalf!  
  
Old man: Oh shut up, and sit down before you hurt yourself, or walk on top of snow or other stupid things like that. MY name is Gandalf, this extremely dumb, schizophrenic elf is named Legolas Greenleaf, but just call him Lego... He won't mind. And the little guy chewing on my shoes is named Pippin. There... You all happy now?  
  
Pippin: Nau... Hey... You fargat Took...!  
  
Christian: Oh deja vu...  
  
Satine: I caaant understaaaand aaa single word thaaat little guy is saaaying.  
  
Pippin: Likewise....  
  
Falcon: Sorry to interupt... But for the people who didn't understand this little joke... Here is the CLUE: Billy Boyd (the actor who play's Pippin) is Scottish, so is Ewan (McGregor.. as the greatest actor in the whole univers (HEY TWISSIE GET OUT OF MY EXPLANATION... ) so... oki). Satine is reeeaaally English (But Nicole Kidman is Australian... Is this getting confusing or is it just me? (Hey is that a snauke?) )... On with the story now.  
  
Twissie: Oh... And since you all know that now, the words that they are saying will appear in normal written English... Just keep in mind... Scottish----English... got that! Thank you.  
  
Falcon: I'm going to bed now...  
  
Twissie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Sorry Ewan...)  
  
Twissie grabs hold of Falcon's arms... and crushes it until it turn's blue (or whatever)  
  
Falcon: For force's sake! Let me go! It's LATE! We are writing the most stupid story EVER! LET ME GO! (A mysterious grin appears on Falcon's face) Hey! I'll go get more sugar, so we can stay up longer!  
  
Twissie let go of Falcon, who immediately runs to her room. Twissie follows her, and drags Falcon back again...  
  
Falcon: Sorry to interrupt, but that is wrong.... Twissie fell down on her ass (hey that's arse moron) and I got some more sugar, and could we please continue the story now?  
  
The story continues:  
  
Gandalf: Never mind that now... Have you've seen the Balrog?  
  
Satine: Excuse me? Balrog? What is that?  
  
Gandalf: That is an extremely menacing looking creature with horns...  
  
Christian: Woh... Deja vu...  
  
Suddenly a black bald guy (no it's not Mace Windu) jumps in from out of nowhere.  
  
Morpheus: They're here...  
  
In from absolutely nowhere comes an elf with a black suit and sunglasses... Holy cow that was a strange look!  
  
Legolas: It's Elrond! Hey old buddy, old pal! How's Arwen!  
  
Elrond: What are you talking about? Can't you see that I've gone undercover as Agent Smith( from The Matrix(? And I'm here to do my bullet time move.... Don't ask me why... They just want me to.  
  
Legolas: Who?  
  
Elrond-Under-Cover-As-Agent-Smith(: The little voices inside my head.  
  
Falcon: Wait a minute... I would like to take this brake to assist my fellow writer Twissie, as she is choking on a green jellybean (oh I made a rhyme). So please listen to some music while I perform the Heimlich- manoeuvre.  
  
Twissie: I'm.... All.... Right.... Now.... Thank you Falcon... I could have died!!!!! And the cause? A Jellybean!!!!! Oh the horror...  
  
Falcon: Yeah... The world is cruel... what can you do... Back to our loosely attached, not very interesting story.  
  
So... EUCAAS( performs his little bullet time move and goes away fro the rest of this fic.  
  
Zidler walks in. Stops. Looks happy and jiggle-jaggles towards Pippin and the other guys.  
  
Zidler: THAT is what I call good costumes! Good going Christian! Now get on stage, and perform HINDI-SAD-DIAMONDS. (A scary sound provided by kazoo.inc (Or Falcon's nose) is heard... Nobody seems to mind)  
  
They get on stage.  
  
Now... You've all seen moulin rouge of course and know how this goes. Satine sings, have some sort of attack, A guy tries to kill Christian, Christian walks on stage by mistake, sings come what may, it all looks really happy-happy, then the Duke( tries to ruin it by bringing a gun (not smart), Satine dies yadda, yadda, yadda... You know all that right? Well... Here is the stuff you didn't know! Way back on the stage (so it doesn't show in the film) stand three mysterious figures... Yup, it's Gandalf, Legolas and Pippin. Suddenly, from out of nowhere (actually from backstage) appears Han-Solo riding a llama. Legolas starts jumping up and down again, rips off his wig and runs towards Han-Solo.  
  
Orlando Bloom: (he is schizophrenic remember) Hey! It's Han-Solo! WOW! I'm such a huge Star Wars fan! But... Why, in the name of force are you riding a llama? What happened to your oh so trusty taun-taun?  
  
Han-Solo: Now, don't try to be smart with me kid. It frooze to death.... But... I seem to have taken a wrong turn in the backstage univers... And somehow ended up on this stage... which is (of course) wrong... So bye-bye now... May we never meet again.  
  
Legolas: (Puts his wig back on) AHHHHH!!!!! WHAT IS THIS CREATURE!!! AHHH I've moved again... without moving my feet at all... Did this creature do it??? EW! It's drooling... OH NO! I GOT IT IN MY Oh-So-PERFECT HAIR(.  
  
Gandalf: Oh look, that cute girl with the curly red hair has died... bummer... What are we supposed to do now?  
  
Pippin: We could always go back trough the second dimension and return to middle-earth.  
  
Gandalf: By the name of Manwë! You're right! I can use my oh-so-powerful- staff-thing and teleport us there.... Or... We could just follow the guy on the llama...  
  
Pippin: Yes! That looks like fun! Let's do that! Where are we going?  
  
Gandalf: Good... Then that's it... We leave this cruel world behind and follow the weird man on the llama! That makes sense!  
  
Falcon: So the three of them follow Han-Solo on his llama... Will we ever see them again?  
  
Legolas: OH NO! IT DROOLED ON ME AGAIN!  
  
Twissie: Hehe... I certainly hope so---  
  
Narrator's voice: (Hey? We have a narrator?) So once again the day is saved by...? Huh--- This wasn't a power puff girls show??? ahhhh... dang... Okey... So  
  
Legolas got drooled, Satine died, the elephant got blown to smithereens and Christian is left unhappy... But our three heroic guys (or whatever) keeps on walking in the crossover univers... Maybe we'll see them again... And what on earth was the point with the green microphones?? Will we ever get to know??? I DON'T THINK SO! But maybe... Oki... that's all the things I had time to say before the money you gave me ran out Twissie... Bye-bye now... And loose those hic-ups!  
  
Twissie: Okey... The End. 


End file.
